Alisha ♡

Alisha, your red-flag detector is apparently on airplane mode. 😂

Nicole gave you the spoiler and you STILL watched the whole episode.

Bestie, that wasn't a mistake. That was Season 2. 😭

Your love life needs less romance and more quality control.

Nicole: Don't do it. You: I got this. The universe: 😂

You don't chase drama. Drama has your home address.

At this point even the red flags are tired of explaining themselves.

Your common sense called. You put it on hold.

Alisha collecting bad decisions like they're Pokémon.

Bestie, your plot twists need a budget.

Nicole's ‘I told you so’ has officially become a subscription service.

You had one job: listen to Nicole. Mission failed successfully.

Your relationship history deserves a documentary and popcorn.

Girl, even Netflix would say this plot is unrealistic.

You saw the warning sign and treated it like decoration.

Your decision-making department is currently closed for maintenance.

Alisha.exe has entered dramatic mode again. 😭

Nicole isn't judging. She's just keeping receipts.

You didn't ignore the red flag. You gave it a friendship bracelet.

Your heart said ‘go’. Your brain said ‘maybe’. Chaos said ‘PERFECT.’

Bestie, please stop giving free trials to people who fail the demo.

You turn simple situations into full cinematic universes.

Nicole's prediction accuracy: 100%. Your listening accuracy: 2%. 😂

Your love life has more plot twists than a K-drama.

Breaking news: Alisha has once again discovered Nicole was right.

You could make a peaceful day suspicious.

Your brain has a ‘bad idea’ button and apparently it's touchscreen.

Bestie, even Google Maps would say ‘recalculating…’

You don't need another sign. You need subtitles for the signs.

Alisha's relationship strategy: trust first, investigate later.

Nicole: therapist, detective, comedian, unpaid consultant.

That wasn't character development. That was character damage. 😭

You really looked at chaos and said ‘sounds fun.’

Bestie, your decisions deserve a parental-control setting.

Your life said ‘choose peace’ and you said ‘let's make content.’

Some people learn from mistakes. You prefer sequels.

Nicole gave advice for free and you still chose the premium mistake.

At this point, your red flags have loyalty points.

Your situationship needs a terms-and-conditions page.

Alisha, your plot is getting renewed without anyone asking.

Your brain: think. Your heart: no thanks.

Bestie, this is not a love story. It's a comedy special.

You didn't fall into drama. You walked in with confidence.

Nicole watching everything happen: 🍿 ‘Interesting…’

Your choices have more suspense than the final episode.

If chaos had a best friend, it would be you.

Girl, even your mistakes have a backstory.

Official verdict: cute bestie, questionable decisions. 😂

Final reminder: Nicole warned you. Again. And again. And again.

Okay Alisha, roast session over — now go make one good decision for Nicole. 😂❤️